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Added on Thu 30th Apr 2020 7:57am   Last edited on Wed 27th May 2020 9:43pm

Caroline Bell

Frustrated Because I Cant See Loved Ones

I know we try to stay positive on this forum, but does anyone else feel frustrated right now? I'm finding myself frustrated and upset because I cannot spend time with my loved ones due to COVID-19. I know my time here is limited, and it's really upsetting to me that I'm losing opportunities to spend time with family and friends. I feel like I've been cheated out of the time I have left. 

Added on Fri 1st May 2020 1:16pm   Last edited on Fri 1st May 2020 1:16pm

Derek T.

I'm glad you brought it up, Caroline!  You definitely aren't alone in feeling that way.  I enjoy reading the journals here and there are a few entries that express the same feelings of frustration and isolation like this one It's tough right now.  Sometimes you just need to vent and that's okay, but what about making a special recording about how much you miss them and adding it to the messages they'll get when you pass away?  

I know it's not mature of me, but I feel cheated too, just for a different reason.  I miss silence and having alone time.  I'd like to think about where I'm at in life and come to terms with my diagnosis, but the house is full, and we're just so busy.  There's homeschooling to do and work to get done.  So I feel frustrated, and then I feel guilty for feeling frustrated. 



Added on Sat 2nd May 2020 1:39am   Last edited on Sat 2nd May 2020 1:39am

Brenda Turpin

I can relate to feeling disappointed, Caroline.  I am living in a hospice care facility and visitors are no longer allowed due to the outbreak.  Part of me wants one more kiss from my husband and to hear that he loves me one more time.  But another part of me is glad he can't see me like this.  I looked pretty good on my birthday and that's the last image I want my husband and children to hold of me.  Now I'm hooked up to a morphine pump to dull the pain and I look like someone who is fading in and out between heaven and earth.  I'll say a quick prayer for you tonight, Caroline.  I pray you'll get to see your family and friends before too long. 

Added on Sat 2nd May 2020 3:50am   Last edited on Sat 2nd May 2020 3:50am

Caroline Bell

Hi Derek, you provide a different perspective, and I appreciate that. I guess it is hard living alone and hard living with people! We are each struggling for different reasons. I cannot imagine having no time to myself. I need that time everyday. I pray that you'll be able to have some time for yourself to find some peace soon. 

Added on Sat 2nd May 2020 3:54am   Last edited on Sat 2nd May 2020 3:54am

Caroline Bell

Hi Brenda,

You bring up a good point. I still look decent enough that I do not mind my family and friends seeing me, but I am sure I will look worse as the time for me to go nears. I can relate to wanting your loved ones to hold onto a good image of you in their memories. Still, I cannot imagine being alone at the end. I hope you are at least able to talk with your loved ones if you wish to. I'll say a prayer for you, too, that your last days are as peaceful as they can possibly be. 

Added on Fri 22nd May 2020 3:50pm   Last edited on Fri 22nd May 2020 3:50pm

Shelly Bernier

This frustration is very understandable. Many others are going through it. What I can't undertsand though is why these facilities cannot accomodate families by bringing their loved ones outside of the facilities. 

Added on Wed 27th May 2020 9:43pm   Last edited on Wed 27th May 2020 9:43pm

Nathan Lewis

I think some facilities are doing that Shelly.  I know a couple of the nursing homes and hospitals are doing that around here.  The rules are becoming more lax in some states and things are opening back up for better or for worse.  It's tough.  I hope you get to visit with those people soon, Caroline.